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alrighty guys, sending myself off from panama SO proper. headed to bocas del toro for 3 nights then boquette for 3 nights and going completely solo. bought my bus ticket this morning, heading out tonight on the over night bus. never traveled alone, and never for this long so i’m extremely excited/anxious/grateful to test myself on this experience and see the last two places in panama i’ve been waiting to get to all semester!

bocas will be purely beach fun times and a little fiesta-ing at night. i’m meeting up with a family i met in the city that has been living in bocas for a few months now (look up unstoppable family on facebook if you’re interested). we’re gonna have a drink and they’re gonna show me around before they head back to the states for some state side living for awhile. i plan to reflect, chill, and get a tan before i’m off to boquette.

in boquette i plan to hike the highest peak in panama right when i get there. it’s a looong hike, anywhere from 10-12 hours round trip, so i’m really going to be pushing myself, but at the top you can see both oceans and i’ve been waiting to do this for awhile now so i hope i can push on til the end. holyrunonsentence. [my brain is working really fast right now so just trying to get all this out before i have to finish packing and head to the bus stop!] also in boquette i plan to check out the natural hot springs, take a coffee farm tour, and a zipline canopy tour of the rainforest. it’s gonna be a great experience and i’m itching to cast off!

i’m gonna have to say goodbye to everyone tonight since most people will have already have gone home by the time i get back and i’m not looking forward to this at all. when i first got to panama i couldn’t help but feel like i was going to have trouble fitting in with these people.. everyone was not typical people i would hang out with at home, and i just felt anxious and like i didn’t quite fit in. over these past 3ish months, these people have become my family. they’ve shared in laughter with me, hugged me during tears, shared secrets, created memories, engaged in conversations, shared similar emotions.. i just can’t begin to describe all these relationships and all the growth that not only me, but collectively as a whole, we’ve all gone through.

the thought of me leaving has been burning a hole in the back of my mind, and i can’t help but to think about it as i go through my daily motions: this will be the last time i see this amazing landscape, better go to my favorite places cause i won’t be able to soon, is this going to be the last time i hug so-and-so.. it’s extremely daunting and sad, but is an inevitable part of life. i’ve tried to soak in all that i can from every experience i’ve had recently, let people who i care about know just how much they’ve made an impact on my life, and just cherish all these memories and events that i know i will never forget.

i know i sound like a broken record when i keep saying this, but words can never express how truly grateful i am and have been for this experience. the only way to describe my feelings during my time here is pure, untainted happiness. i’ve learned so much, grown so much, and never have felt as alive and amazing as i have felt being a part of kalu yala and in panama. the community outreach girls all gave our final presentations in front of the interns, directors, and CEO today and i had to hold back tears for the amazing feeling i had listening to my girls tell everyone just how much we accomplished this semester. i feel so incredibly proud of the positive direct impact me and my peers made in the san miguel community. i’m going to share a bit about what each of us did:

hannah: hannah is an urban and city planning major and wanted to put her knowledge to good use. she decided to turn the public space of san miguel into a bright and colorful place. her first project was to paint large barrels and place them by the river to remind san miguel inhabitants NOT to pollute the river. we had a blast painting designs on the barrels and they made their debut at our rio clean up day and are still there! her second project was designing a mural that she was going to paint in the “cancha” (a recreation space near the school). she designed the mural, got all the paints and supplies necessary, sketched the mural on the wall, and invited the kids of san miguel to come help paint. the mural turned out GREAT and the kids loved it. it really made a difference. now the cancha is bright and cheerful and a place to be proud of.

tiffany: tiffany was a strong presence in the school at san miguel. she taught K-3 classes and loved every minute of it. tiffany never took one vacation day, and really took charge and initiative in the school. her mom is a dental hygienist, so she had her send down a ton of dental supplies and information packets. tiffany organized a dental production, which she went to i think 9 other schools in the area and presented. the kids LOVED it and it definitely made an impact on them because now they know about dental hygiene and will hopefully keep it up!

lillian: lillian noticed the incredible amount of plastic bags that were scattered around the apartment from everyone going to the grocery store so often. she decided to make canvas kalu yala bags for us, and future interns to use, to reduce our ecological footprint and take a step in the right direction for a sustainable company. she also wanted to have the chickens lay eggs in san miguel. we had the chickens, but didn’t know what to do in order to have them produce eggs. she re-vamped the chicken coop, did a lot of research on chickens, and we bought a rooster! she also taught the 4-6 grades.

anyways, i really need to finish packing and get ready to go, but wanted to put a few thoughts down before i shipped out.

just got back from my last valley stay and boy did i have a GREAT time. tiffany, hannah, and i went to pedasi for a few days and got back late saturday night. woke up easter sunday am and was trying to decide if i had the energy and motivation for the journey to the valley. finally dragged my ass out of bed with the help of my good friend lillian and we headed out to our final stay in the valley and san miguel.

luckily when we got to san miguel, all of the cars and people were there ready to go and gave us a ride in. thank god because that saved us from having to do a two hour up hill hike in the unforgiving panama heat. once we got to the valley, i got a little tour of it since i hadn’t been since the first week of my internship! things had really changed, so proud of all the work my friends have done out there!

this morning had a strenuous, but amazing hike out to san miguel. got to say one final farewell to the house and aura :( so, so sad. san miguel is such an amazingly beautiful and awesome place with the best people there. really sad to have to leave a place that i felt so connected to, but incredibly grateful for the experience!

this morning while everyone else at the san miguel house chose to have a relaxing movie day, i dragged myself up and out to get a little exercise. not only do i need it, but also how many more chances am i going to have to wake up in the morning and take a beautiful, challenging hike in the natural beauty of panama? i tried to take it in as much as possible, as this may be the last time i am in san miguel if i don’t make it out next week. lizards scurring around, the extremely challenging landscape of panama, all the great shades of greens in the hills and valleys, all the cattle and livestock of the area, and the friendly faces of all my neighbors along the way. i hiked to where i usually do, the first river crossing on the way to the valley. when i got there, i took some time to reflect on how much i’ve grown since i’ve been here and just taking in how incredibly blessed i’ve been to experience all that i have while i’ve been here in panama. cannot express it enough to myself, my family, and my friends. i had some extremely rough times before i came down here and through all the hardships i’ve dealt with, i feel that this trip could not have come at a better time for me. i will no longer take my relationships with my friends and family for granted, have learned to value all that i have and find out all the good i am capable of doing and have been inspired to do during my time here in san miguel.

as i was walking, i was thinking about the sense of community, the relationships with other people, and the general vibe of the people in san miguel. these thoughts are no great revelation, and i’m sure plenty of other people have encountered these same trains of thoughts.. but the people in san miguel just seem so much happier and friendlier and community oriented than other cultures and places i have lived. then i started to think that maybe it’s because they have fewer distractions.. us in the states with our laptops, TVs, cars, phones.. in san miguel, they do not have these distractions and (shocker!) they are HAPPIER, healthier, do more outdoor activities, are family oriented, etc. if we spent more time away from all these distractions, i feel that the quality of our relationships would other people would increase drastically. when i get home, i’m going to strive to not fall back into my old patterns. spend more time doing things that are productive, worthwhile, create better relationships with people, contributing to the greater good. i may just be rambling here, but hiking alone in paradise really gives you time to think and reflect and i just wanted to share my thought process a little while i still remembered it!

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